sunnuntai 8. heinäkuuta 2012

Every teardrop is a waterfall.

Today a staff member had a go at me.

I asked an innocent question that happened to push a button that I was unaware of.
And so I received a ****load of criticism, drama and accusations.
How the volunteers are wasteful and selfish. How we don't think or pass information on.

Unfortunately the scene was witnessed by a good 30-40 pairs of eyes: guests from all around the world, staff, community members and other volunteers. Nicely framed by the kitchen hatch.

I was so surprised, upset and hurt that I fled and burst into tears outside the front door.

Got my jacket and walked. walked and walked in the drizzle. Let the tears mix with the water coming from the sky.

And passed a smelly waterfall that made me stop. Look at the water flushing over the road. There wasn't a waterfall here before! Why is so smelly? Because the rain that has lasted for a month now is flushing all the **** down from the field above.

How perfect.

2 kommenttia:

Tanssiinan Anne kirjoitti...

How did the situation evolve? How did the others react? Did the accusing stage member ever come back to explain/apologize/something other? Living at a community must mean outbursts have to be solved one way or the other... And how are you now?!

neitinomad kirjoitti...

I didn't return to the scene and this member is not part of the lived community. We'll see what happens when we meet again! In the situation we got a few long looks and I know that at least one other volunteer received a similar outburst, so I hope there is some sort of a follow-up. And I know that another volunteer had a chat with the staff about it yesterday, so hopefully there is some more information and understanding out there.

I thihk I'm fine again today, but yesterday was indeed tiring and difficult. I've noticed during this year that 1. I'm a crier and 2. if I get really upset, getting back on track during that same day is very very challenging and unlikely.